Genealogy Quips

Contributed by David Roquemore Reese, November, 2002

My family coat of arms ties at the back … is that normal.

My family tree is a few branches short! All help appreciated.

My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!

Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!

My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets.

How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE?!

I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap …

I’m not stuck, I’m ancestrally challenged.

I’m searching for myself; Have you seen me?

If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help …

Isn’t genealogy fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more!

It’s 2000 … Do you know where your G-G-Grandparents are?

A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.

A family tree can wither if nobody tends it’s roots.

A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away.

After 30 days unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.

Am I the only person up my tree … sure seems like it.

Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts, and a few bad apples.

Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?

FLOOR: The place for storing your priceless genealogy records.

Gene-Allergy: It’s a contagious disease but I love it.

Genealogists are time unravelers.

Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide … I seek!

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.

“Crazy” is a relative term in my family.

A pack rat is hard to live with but makes a fine ancestor.

I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand.

I Should have asked them BEFORE they died!

I think my ancestors had several “Bad heir” days.

I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the JUNEflower.

Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards, as progress.

Share your knowledge, it is a way to achieve immortality.

Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!

It’s an unusual family that hath neither a lady of the evening or a thief.

Many a family tree needs pruning.

Shh! Be very, very quiet … I’m hunting forebears.

Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!

That’s strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN!

I’m not sick, I’ve just got fading genes.

Genealogists live in the past lane.

Cousins marrying cousins: Very tangled roots!

Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree

Alright! Everybody out of the gene pool!

Always willing to share my ignorance …

Documentation …The hardest part of genealogy.

Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!

Genealogy … will I ever find time to mow the lawn again?

That’s the problem with the gene pool: NO Lifeguards

I researched my family tree … and apparently I don’t exist!